Archive for February, 2010

Just for today…

Friday, February 26th, 2010

This was shared with me today, and it made me stop and think, so I thought I’d share it with you too.

by Che von Lindbergh, 2006

Today I will delete from my diary
two days: yesterday and tomorrow
Yesterday was to learn
and tomorrow will be the consequence
of what I can do today.

Today I will face life
with the conviction that this day
will not ever return.

Today is the last opportunity
I have to live intensely,
as no one can assure me
that I will see tomorrow’s sunrise.

Today I will be brave enough
not to let any opportunity pass me by,
my only alternative is to succeed

Today I will invest
my most valuable resource: my time,
in the most trascendental work:
my life;

I will spend each minute
passionately to make
of today a different
and unique day in my life.

Today I will defy every obstacle
that appears on my way trusting
I will succeed.

Today I will resist
pessimism and will conquer
the world with a smile,
with the positive attitude
of expecting always the best.

Today I will make of every ordinary task a sublime expression,

Today I will have my feet on the ground
understanding reality
and the stars’ gaze
to invent my future.

Today I will take the time to be happy
and will leave my footprints and my presence
in the hearts of others.

Today, I invite you to begin a new season
where we can dream
that everything we undertake is possible
and we fulfil it,
with joy and dignity.

Opportunityisnowhere!

Sunday, February 21st, 2010

What did you read when you saw the sentence above?

Depending on whether you are an optimist or a pessimist you may have read it one way, or another.

Opportunity is now here.

Opportunity is nowhere

We tend to notice whatever it is that are mind is primed to see, either the positives in life, or the negatives.

Have you ever been thinking about buying a particular model of car, and noticed that you see that type of car on the streets more and more? It’s not that there are any more of that model of car on the streets, just that your mind is primed to notice them, and so you do.

It may have happened with other things. When I was expecting my first child, I seemed to see pregnant ladies, or young babies everywhere!

If you believe that you might be a little bit of a pessemist, here’s an exercise that you might enjoy doing at the end of the day:

Look back over your day, and note three things that you have seen or have happened in your day that you would consider good things. It could be seeing something of natural beauty; how someone did something for you that was unexpected; it may even just be getting a phone call – you choose what you would consider those 3 good things – your three gifts for the day.

The only rules are that there must be three gifts that you have to note, and that if you can think of more than three, you have to narrow it down to the three best, for that day!

Do this every evening for at least a week, and notice how much easier you find it to start noticing the positive things that are going on around you everyday, if only we take the time to notice them!

Tapping therapy: curing physical and mental problems

Wednesday, February 17th, 2010

This article was published on the Telegraph website (www.telegraph.co.uk) about Emotional Freedom Technique (also known as ‘tapping’). It’s something that I teach to many of my clients, as it’s such an amazing tooland has so many possible applications. Have a read and see what you think…

Beverley Turner tries out ‘tapping’, a technique designed to cure physical and mental problems by tapping on the body’s invisible energy pathways.

By Beverley Turner
Published: 7:00AM GMT 15 Feb 2010

Singer Michael Ball was seen doing it on a daytime TV chat show. He learnt it from the late singer, Stephen Gately, who used it to calm his own performance nerves. Lily Allen’s weight loss was attributed to its efficacy. American PGA players have been spotted doing it around the golf course. And Norwegian pole-vaulter Rens Blom credited his unexpected 2005 World Championship Gold to its powers. The internet reveals millions of anecdotal accounts of its success on phobias, addictions and anxiety. So nearing the end of my own two-year psychotherapy training, I wanted to discover what this mysterious “tapping” business is all about.

So I signed up for a day course at the EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) Academy in London’s Regent’s College, with Richard Mark, an advanced EFT practitioner and certified trainer, who has worked as a psychotherapist and hypnotherapist for 12 years. My fellow students are a mixed bunch of mental health professionals, lawyers, physiotherapists, trainee counsellors and full-time parents. Unafraid to challenge, the students are surprisingly curious and sceptical rather than gullibile. There isn’t a sandal or kaftan among them.

Although it doesn’t rigidly follow his teachings, Mark’s course is based on the EFT therapy developed by American, Gary Craig in 1997. Craig had studied Dr. Callaghan’s Thought Field Therapy in the 1980s, an evolution of John Diamond’s Kinesiology, both of which were rooted in ancient Eastern “meridian energy” theories of acupuncture and Shiatsu, codified since at least 1000BC.

These therapies claimed that our bodies contain invisible energy pathways – meridians – and identified hundreds of acupoints at junctions along these interconnecting highways. They can be disrupted by life’s vicissitudes; in extreme cases, resulting in not only mental but also physical problems.

EFT works by a person tapping on just nine of these acupoints, while speaking aloud. And this is where it becomes a little weird. Working in pairs we identify a minor physical ailment and repeat the phrase, “Even though I have this sore knee / headache / lack of energy, I deeply and completely accept myself,” while tapping on the meridian points: the soft part of the hand beneath the little finger, crown of the head, around the eyes, beneath the nose, the chin, near the clavicle and beneath the armpit. I just about resist the urge to “ooh ooh” like a monkey.

A key part of the therapy is calibrating the intensity of either physical or emotional pain, which allows both therapist and patient a tangible scale by which to measure success. Mark explains that EFT is “especially effective in clearing traumatic memories: accidents, abuse, violence, childhood memories; or even clearing persistent negative messages from family or key people in our lives.”

We move onto emotional problems, selecting a memory that is difficult, but manageable in the limited time available, and within a classroom environment. Using the “Movie Technique,” we must make a mental movie of a specific event, giving it a title and running it in our mind’s eye, marking its intensity between 1 – 10, before tapping with the mantra, “Even though I have this playground bullying / car accident / illness diagnosis movie, I deeply and completely accept myself.” In extreme cases of trauma, the patient can merely imagine the units of distress without running the movie in their head, gradually moving towards the scene at a safe pace.

In spite of – or perhaps because of – the adrenaline from feeling like a bit of a wally, when using the “Movie Technique” myself my own memory of witnessing a violent assault twenty years ago, does indeed fade in its intensity. But I’m not a prime candidate. EFT has impressive results on a whole spectrum of emotional issues but is arguably making its biggest impact on those suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder.

Treating such patients, Marta Krol, a Polish clinical psychologist who trained under Mark and has returned to Poland, has found EFT’s effects “amazing”. She recounts a 12-year-old Chechnyan girl suffering speech and anxiety problems as a result of witnessing, aged six, her uncle’s dismembered body brought into the family home and laid on the kitchen table by hysterical relatives. The child did not speak at all for the following 12 months.

“We had worked together for six months with little progress,” says Krol, “Then I tried EFT. She pictured herself watching the terrible scene on TV but through another TV and so on until she was five levels removed and even then she saw herself watching from behind the curtains. But after six weeks she was talking fluently and could recount the event with no anxiety. I honestly believe I could not have helped her do that without EFT.”

Emma-Leigh Johnson, a London-based drugs counsellor is unequivocal about its benefits, “By the time clients come to me they have had lots of therapy. They know what to say, the games to play and boxes to tick. EFT is so unusual, they don’t know what you want to hear.”

Few therapies allow a patient to say aloud that they accept themselves despite their rape / abuse / addiction, while dealing with the emotions that arise simultaneously. Johnson explains, “lots of therapy separates the issue and the human being. With this you can change how you feel about something, but accept that you can’t change what happened – that’s the emotional freedom. I see bigger shifts using EFT than any other therapy.”

Some clients prefer to be ‘tapped upon’ by the therapist; others will mirror their actions; but perhaps more than any other therapy, EFT equips the individual to take away the skill to use at any time.

EFT is still ripe for ridicule. Having explained it in broad terms to my husband, he can now be heard muttering, “I may not have unstacked the dishwasher but I deeply and completely accept myself.” But I have no doubt that the sound of tapping is here to stay. And it’s only going to get louder.

Richard Mark 020 8993 3803; info@eft-academy.co.uk; www.eft-academy.co.uk

Are you resolute?

Friday, February 12th, 2010

So, here we are six weeks into the new year. How amazing is that. Is it me, or is time going by more quickly these days? Perhaps that’s just what happens as we get older!

Many people start their new year making all sorts of resolutions or promises to themselves. You might have even set yourself some goals to achieve for the coming year.

Is that something that you do every year? Quite often by about this time into the new year, for many people, if they stop and take stock of exactly how they are doing with regard to these resolutions, promises and goals, quite frankly to coin a common teacher’s phrase they ‘could do better’.

We have all these great plans and ideas for how we want things to be different or better at the beginning of the year, but sure isn’t it strange how sometimes there’s a dirty great spanner thrown in the works?

That’ll be your unconscious thinking that whatever you have in mind is  not as good idea as your conscious might have thought. Until you get your unconscious on board, we can say all the things we like, consciously, but in the end, the unconscious is always victorious. Afterall, it is in charge around 90% of the time, you know.

So what do you need to be successful this time; motivation, determination, confidence in your own ability? Maybe you’re not completely sure exactly what you need to do this time, to do things differently.

The good news is that with the right help, you can get your unconscious onboard; find the resources you need; access those strengths, easier than you might have once thought possible. And it just so happens that I have the tools and techniques available to help you make it happen. Click here to go to my NLP information page.

So if you are having a problem keeping to those resolutions, promises and goals, remember that you don’t have to forget about them until next New Year’s Eve. Get in contact and let’s have a chat about how we can get you back on track.

Reflections on what we control and what we don’t

Monday, February 8th, 2010
Once again my this blog comes from Michael Neill’s weekly email. It is reproduced here with his permission.His emails can be really inspiring and you can sign up to receive them too by using the link at the bottom of the page. I hope you enjoy it … Did you know that “worry” is a verb? That is, “to worry something” is to shake it about – it is an activity, not a thing.

The kind of worrying that most of us do is with our thoughts. We take a particular thought and “worry it about” in our minds, shaking it back and forth and flipping it around until we become absolute experts on everything that could possibly go wrong.  

I myself am an expert “worrier” – I seem to have been granted the ability to pick out the worst-case scenario at a puppy farm, or to imagine all the things that could go wrong at an OSHA convention.  
Which is why I’ve always found it a bit curious that when I’m actually IN a difficult situation, I tend to handle it with remarkable ease and grace. Being stuck in traffic doesn’t upset me, even if I’m running late. If the recording equipment stops working at an event where I’m teaching, as it did recently, I can generally incorporate it into the proceedings without batting an eyelash, even if I had previously been worrying about the possibility.  

The difference, or so it seems to me, is this:  

Once something has actually happened, whether or not it happens is clearly no longer within my control. And if I know that something is not within my control, I see no point in worrying about it, or more accurately, in worrying it about.
Which is why when I woke up a couple of days ago without control over the left side of my face, I was oddly calm. In fact, the only real thought my worrying mind gave me to play with was how it might affect the television pilot we’re working on, and whether or not they will be able to film me exclusively from the right side until whatever it was cleared up.  

When others kindly pointed out to me all the other things I could be worrying about that might be a wee bit more important than how I looked on TV, like a brain tumor or a stroke, it did occur to me to go to the hospital, and they quickly diagnosed it as a mild case of Bell’s Palsy, a strange form of facial paralysis the explanation for which sounded completely made up, even to the doctor who diagnosed me with it.  
The good thing about Bell’s Palsy is that a. Most people recover within 2 – 3 weeks and b. With the exception of a cocktail of drugs that may or may not speed recovery and that I am faithfully taking each day, there’s nothing much which can be done.  

And I find that sort of behavioral helplessness incredibly comforting. Oh sure, I get that if I maintain a relatively positive mind and a relatively relaxed body, that will create an internal environment which promotes healing. And even after only a few days, I’ve discovered that ordering soup for lunch is just a bad idea. But when there’s nothing to be done about something, there’s nothing to be done about it – and that leaves our energy free to enjoy whatever it is we can do.  

Twenty years ago, I remember seeing the quadriplegic motivational speaker W. Mitchell give a talk from his wheelchair. The line which burned into my memory was this:

“Before I was paralyzed there were 10,000 things I could do. Now there are 9,000. I can either dwell on the 1,000 I’ve lost or focus on the 9,000 I have left.”  
 

What we control, in my experience, is not what happens to us and not even which thoughts, positive or negative, come into our head. What we control is what we do and which thoughts we dwell on. And funnily enough, that’s more than enough control to create a magical life, regardless of whatever circumstances you happen to find yourself in.  

Recently, I was watching a video of the spiritual philosopher Syd Banks and he shared an old Irish philosophy: 

There are only two things to worry about – are you sick or are you well?If you’re well, there’s nothing to worry about. And if you’re sick, there are only two things to worry about – will you live or will you die? If you live, there’s nothing to worry about. And if you die, there are only two things to worry about – will you go to heaven or will you go to hell?  If you go to heaven, there’s nothing to worry about. And if you go to hell, you’ll be so busy shaking hands with all your friends that there’s nothing to worry about.   

 

With love,

Michael

Copyright © 2010 Michael Neill. All Rights Reserved
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